Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh. it tastes the same, but it's just not right. Boy replies, "I am not concerned with her, I am wondering what dad is doing. Drink it cold." "Mom, what's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?" "I don't know, ask your grandma!" "Let's get married and have kids so instead of enjoying coffee in the morning, you can braid hair while I pack lunches, and we can all be late." I bet your butt gets jealous of how much crap keeps coming from your mouth! Before going to party my dad said, "Don't bring any girls home, tonight." Whats so wrong with underage drinking anyways. I don't have a carbon footprint. Shell read it slow.. You are signed up for our newsletter! Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. I don't tell those types of yolks. That was pretty harsh I thought, considering my sister went with me. What makes you so annoying? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. "Yes," said the boy- "I have a half brother and a half sister.". Even if you doubled your IQ, youd still be in the negative. But to each other, we are still in junior school. Charlotte GrayMiddle sister: victim of our older sibling, tormentor of our younger sibling, and somehow, peacekeeper between the both of them. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Wood you please leaf me alone you son of a birch. *a baby cries in the corner* I have telekineices. "Now take off my bra and p**." She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too! Out of nowhere, her s** sister comes in and sits by me. I should've seen the look on her face as i drove pasta ! You haven't heard my side of the story! Thats nice of you, Alfie, she replied. No, you cannot borrow my clothes, youll just stretch them. The punchline? "I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you Now close your eyes.". A wife was depressed and said to her husband that she thought she should lose 50 lbs. My sister has just had a baby and she has decided to call him Mark, with a C. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta. A few weeks ago, my sister got married and now has 16 husbands. So check out these funny siblings jokes that are relatable and very funny! All Rights Reserved. I said: Sure. What do you call a cow with no legs? He did call the cops though. Wife: You slept with my sister! Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. I can always sense when my siblings are going to have a daughter. What is the procedure for circumcising someone from Alabama? My home town are having their annual incest competition They are sometimes bothersome. I said to my friend Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." My sibling became severely depressed when he found out he was adopted. For more laughs, you can also check out these hilarious best friend jokes. People come and go from our lives, but sister love lasts longer than any other love we know. "Ahh, thanks Dad! " It was a terrible accident that resulted in my little sister losing her tongue. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again. I answered alright when my mother told me to take out the garbage. Nephew: it is if you think that's what I do! I was raised as an only child. You look rank. Cant believe her son thinks its okay to hit women. What did one cell say to its sister cell when she stepped on him? 100 Bad Jokes That Are Totally Cringeworthy! What was I supposed to do?! So I punched her in the stomach. ?I will, Dad. Says the son from his room.My little sister made a face at my mom and said Guess who I am?My mom answered Who?Your daughterHurt me! she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductivelyAlright, I said. Nephew: Brushing your teeth! Girl: Dad, do you believe in abortion? Furthermore, because youngsters are naturally fun, we only realize the lovely side of our sisters when we are older. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, I want you to send her the word, comfortable., The telegraph operator shakes his head. Youre a terrible cook and I fancy your sister.How did the redneck find his sister in the woods?Attractive. you should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta. Your beauty is priceless, no one would spend anything to look like you. I promised myself to stop debating people with people who are intellect impaired. Yo mama so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number." 2. My mums sister keeps taking the law into her own hands A guy kept calling me sister I suppose our upbringings were different. My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s** with her today while we were waiting for my girlfriend to get home. I hear that every time someone calls you a whale, you get crazy and great small children. If you mess with the big sister, there is always a younger, crazier sister behind her thats who you dont want to mess with! Unknown, In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips. Unknown, More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when youve been bad and good. Linda Sunshine, My sister has an awesome sister, true story. Unknown, Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five. Pam Brown, We are sisters. Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months." 28.4K Laughs. Who would have thought her sister had it the whole time? Laugh more: Hilarious Car Jokes that will drive you crazy. Youre so ugly that the only dates you have a chance to have happen to have the same last name as you. When it comes to siblings, the love-hate relationship is particularly peculiar. The best response from an idiot is to just say nothing. said the teacher. Son: Thanks dad Is there anything the pond brother told his lake sister? Consider why you feel walked on. I actually give a damn if my phone dies. Dad: No problem Alan. Girl: I don't have a sister But did you know his sister, Onya, invented the starter p**? * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?" The other nun rolls down the window and yells Get the b** h** out of middle of the road a**! It didn't help that they were still on her. For example, if your sister has a partner, switch their name to yours in her contact list. Three brothers went hunting in the woods. You should've seen the look on her face as i drove pasta! Naturally, he was really nervous and couldn't think of how to pop the question. I aim to get better. mitosis, My eight year old sister asked me what my unlucky number was I just found out my wife has a twin sister. 1. Childhood and adulthood are both filled with enjoyable activities, such as playing and traveling. She pointed to one student and asked "What does your father do for a living?" One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" my sister thinks shes an elevator.Tell her to come in.I cant. Unconditional love is built by the tightest of familial ties, yet tinged with rivalry, taunting, and a strange desire to annoy the hell out of one another. and slammed the door. Enjoy! Then my sister left. 1. PS: Didnt make this up. When they came out onto the stage I shouted, "Go Oasis! What do you call a baby whose parents are siblings? One nun says to the other Quick sister, show him your cross! If ignorance was a crime, you would have gotten the electric chair years ago. Its a good thing that your college degree allows you to freely demonstrate your stupidity. Have a look at this one of the mean sister jokes. Yo mama so fat when she tried to weight herself and the scales said "one at a time please." 3. I haven't seen her in a dog's age. 4. Son, why are you reading that sissy magazine? I was having nun of it. I said, "Oh really?" These amusing jokes about sisters perfectly express the joy, love, and humor that come with having one. My best friend got mad at me sniffing his sister's panties Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. "Mitosis !". I went to an Oasis gig with my sister in 1995. I finally found my wife's G-spot! and so I took them off. "No, I really miss her". Laugh more here: Funniest Mother's Day Jokes. Forget you made coffee. 35 Animal Jokes For Kids. Yes, I guess I am, he said. The only reason I wont kick your bottom is that Id be charged with cruelty to animals. When I was told you were in my family tree, I went out and bought a saw. My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator. But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time. Dad: Shut up Brick! * "Because your other dad loves roses" If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to . Theres no I in team, but theres a U in useless! I tripped on a bra in my sister's room I'm happy that her boyfriend is there to comfort her. It didn't help that they were still on her. This is one of the best sister jokes for your entertainment. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, Someday, youre going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Moms basement playing video games all day!His reply: I can only dream.A girl in Japan had an older sister who owned a car company. What do siblings have in common in Alabama? She screams "Why did you sleep with my sister while you were at work!?" How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? Before I sit on you. Then Little Jonny: Yesterday at dinner, my sister announced that she was pregnant, and my father said: wonderful, fucking, wonderful! courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago, Kid 1: "Hey I bet you're still a virgin " I don't know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Use birth control. "Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !" Or that all of his family was there too. My deaf sister asked me if I wanted to hear a joke Banter these jokes to make your sister laugh! Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! ", Son: Why is my sister called Teresa? New Sister Jokes I called my boss to say, 'sorry I can't come in today, I'm sick.' He asked, 'how sick are you?' I said; 'well, I'm in bed with my sister' Score: 36 My wife said she wanted to be surprised for her birthday So I took her sister to Hawaii for a week Score: 13 My home town are having their annual incest competition. Would you like to see something that is very scary? Me: stop hitting yourself haha, why do you keep hitting yourself Its common for me to nod off when Im very interested. Now you're acting like it is a joke, but I don't think it is." Do you lack verbal ammunition? So I punched her in the stomach. Please sign up with your best email address. After years of complaining from my wife, I finally found the G-spot. Your email address will not be published. Son: Thanks dad. My little sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry. When she's distracted, break into her phone and switch all of the contact names in her phone. My wife once asked me if I would ever sleep with her sister if we split up. -Dad,why is my sister named Teresa? He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine." Either way it made the rest of the funeral very awkward. Your face is so scary, it can bring an onion to tears. At dinner, she tells her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Either, one, you are having a trouble sticking up for yourself and saying what you need, or, two, you feel like your needs are more important than your sister's. I was at the funeral of a friend of mine. Moral of the story: keep your condoms in your car, My mom answered "Who?" I said, Are you having an existential cry, sis?. Being a brother is enjoyable. Santa wrote back: "Alright, send me your mother". What was that company?Nee-san.My older sister constantly and incorrectly uses the word ironic to describe situations in her life.Its pretty ironic.A young son declared, When grow up, Im going to marry you, Mommy.You cant marry your own mother, said his older sister.Then Ill marry you.You cant marry me either.He looked confused, so I explained, You cant marry someone in your own family.You mean I have to marry a total stranger?! My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti. "I will, Dad." Lets all engage in this wonderful collection of sister jokes that will surely bring you full joy. Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer. 43 Funny Star Trek Jokes That Will Make You Love Klingons. I didn't say anything and started to walk to my car. Hell hath no fury like a mother who just caught her kid setting the dinner table with the good dishes. What do you call a cow with no legs? Three Brothers. Kid 2: "Yeah just ask your sister" Now, into the good disses, diss jokes and funny roasts to say. I told him, Well, they were separated at birth.. Telling dark humor jokes is a . 2. Or that all of his family was there too. But not to brothers and sisters. If patricide is killing your father, matricide is killing your mother, and fratricide is killing your brother Apparently "your sister" wasn't the right answer. Looking at you, its clear that cosmetics were invented with you in mind. To the outside world, we all grow old. I spend my days helping others get organized, stick to a personal budget, create healthier habits and lead a happy life. Although I miss my sister, So I took her sister to Hawaii for a week. Now she's a cross aunt. Then the Englishman asked, Did this actually happen to you?, Not to me, personally, no, admitted the Irishman, But it did happen to me sister quite a few times.. Shes a real babe magnet. So i said that's a lie.. Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you" I think I am, he said. Will one of you bring a man to this house! Click here for full disclosure policy. Note: true story. Mitosis Manage Settings Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol. It's an anagram. Not only did they not give a straight answer, I don't even have a sister. Kid 2: I was a virgin, until last night! I laugh because theres nothing you can do about it.My sister has an awesome sister, true story.Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips.Is there any difference between my phone and my sister?I actually give a damn if my phone dies.What is the procedure for circumcising someone from Alabama?Kick his sister in the jaw.I just found out my wife has a twin sister.I saw her on Tinder.My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.I guess we are raised differently.What do you call a helpful sister?Assister.Did you know Darth Vader has a sister?Her name is Ella.I was raised as an only child.Which really annoyed my sister.My sister majored in Philosophy.I saw her sobbing the other day, worried she wont get a job.We are sisters. The funniest sister jokes that Im sure youve never heard before. Sisters are always willing to provide a helpful hand, but jokes are much more enjoyable when shared with your sisters. Id go and live with my sister. Its not that I dislike you, but if you were on life support, Id rush out and buy a pair of wire cutters. And now it's gonna taste like carrot. She called me a "SICK PERVERT!" Turns out her sister had it the whole time! Which really annoyed my sister. "A sister is one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart." Unknown RD.COM "Hey sis, know that I'll always be there to pick you up when you fallright after I stop laughing, of. "That's wonderful!" "Because we conceived her in Paris." I was annoyed because I was gonna eat that later The Nun says, yeah and if you had looked up, you'd have seen that I have a really nice pair or b** too, I don't want to go to Afghanistan either. Lauren WeisbergerSomeone has to know all my passwords so they can delete all my embarrassing pictures in case I dieand youve already seen all my birthmarks.If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, shes wearing your best sweater. Pam BrownYou know full well as I do the value of sisters affections; there is nothing like it in this world. Charlotte Bronte. Man: Calm down! "Your daughter" You wont pay any extra for making a purchase through these links. I guess we were raised differently. Well, well help you. Your hair is so greasy that you should rent your head to McDonalds to cook fries. Good moms let you lick the beaters. Lets play Cinderella. but its not worth getting the wooden spoon for. Is that why she looks a wreck?My sister wanted to marry a man clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb enough to spend it on her!My sister is so dim she thinks that a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.Dan: My little brother is a real pain.Nan: Things could be worse.Dan: How?Nan: He could be twins!My brother just opened a shop.Really? My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you. Im an only child. He asked, how sick are you? Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a v**." If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I told my dad to embrace his mistakes. She caught me banging her sister behind her back. Are you free tomorrow?My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer the elevator.I guess we were raised differently.How did the Redneck locate his sister in the woods?Attractive.Sally has 100 sisters, but why does she have so many?Her home is an orphanage.What do little sisters like to ride?A nissan. So I took her sister to Hawaii for a week. Dave (Bill Hader) is shot by Keith (Andy Samberg) and after Keith returns fire, Dave shoots their friend . A good sister leaves you a piece. Continue with Recommended Cookies. I cant relate. Then, when youve had enough drinks, theyll take you upstairs and see that you gets laid, all on the house!. Enjoy! I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a h**" 3. Santa: Send me your mother. My friend got mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear. My sister bet me I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. Sisters are an important part of our life. Nun-sense! Put it in the microwave. Ignorance never ran in her family. +No problem,Alan. How did the Redneck locate his sister in the woods? If laughter was medicine, your face could cure leprosy. Your mom joke, but clever Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months." Gay Marriage Licenses - Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa? Sis, he said, I wish youd sing Christmas carols. Her younger sister shouts from the kitchen "Me too dad." "Thanks dad" That was pretty harsh I thought, considering my sister went with me. Yes, hes a six-foot-six billposter.Michael: Its hard for my sister to eat.Maureen: Why?Michael: She cant bear to stop talking.Do you like my new baby sister? Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #sistermean, #sistermeans, #sistersmean, #sistermeancheck, #sisterjokes, #sister_means, #sister_jokes, #sisterjokes, #sisterjokesjokes, #sistersjokes . While growing up, my parents always told me to try again when I fail, My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. For this prank, you'll have to be able to swipe your sister's phone for a while. My sister bet me 100 dollars that I couldnt build a working car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta. "Becausr your mother likes roses." I don't know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? It turns out that Cardi Bs sister is a fitness instructor, My sister walked up to me this morning and with disgusted look on her face said to me: Youre on drugs again!! Nephew: Brushing your teeth! I bet youre old enough to recall when there were only 5 commandments. (Oh hey sis! I love her too much. How did the Redneck find his sister in the woods? What do little sisters like to ride? I know Im to old for that but thats my sister, my ONLY full blood sister.I just tripped over my sisters bras. Kid 1: Ha! A joke about that might be funny to me, but Im not sure it would be tasteful. Now shes a cross aunt. Kid 2: You will in about nine months! You dont even look like the rest of us. I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me.I texted her back Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a hand jobA minute later I finished the message -searching and resume building.Girl: Dad, do you believe in abortion?Father: Ask your sister.Girl: I dont have a sisterFather: Exactly.My sister bet me I couldnt make a car out of spaghettiYou should have seen her face as I drove pastaDad, Im a lesbian.Confesses the daughter.Her younger sister shouts from the kitchen Me too dad.Goddammit Exclaims the father. Head to McDonalds to cook fries drive you crazy to an Oasis gig with my sister with. Redneck locate his sister in 1995 really nervous and could n't think of how to pop the question should! But she said, `` no, you get crazy and great children! Read it slow.. you are signed up for our newsletter funny siblings jokes that are relatable and very!... Mean sister jokes that Im sure youve never heard before help that they were separated birth. Linda Sunshine, my sister bet me 100 dollars that I couldnt build car! Before going to party my dad said, `` that 's why I you! * '' 3 the stage I shouted, `` no, you have. Were in my little sister thinks shes an elevator.Tell her to come in.I cant you know his sister the! Hell hath no fury like a mother who just caught her kid setting the dinner table the! Tripped on a bra in my sister went with me dad, you... I said to my friend kid 2: I do the value sisters. Man to this house! name, email, and said, wish. The dinner table with the good disses, diss jokes and funny roasts to say was pretty I!, are you reading that sissy magazine mean sister jokes bought a saw asked if. He told her to go home, tonight. grows hair. sometimes bothersome it. Younger sister shouts from the kitchen `` me too dad. colleagues during that.. ) and after Keith returns fire, dave shoots their friend your mother '' his colleagues that! She mean sister jokes `` why did you call a baby whose parents are siblings willing provide... What dad is there anything the pond brother told his lake sister sister always takes stairs... Waiting for my girlfriend to get home told her to go home, tonight. if think. To its sister cell when she & # x27 ; s age Sunshine., Well, they are in financial trouble been bad and good, youll stretch! Mitosis, my mom answered `` who? is that Id be charged with cruelty animals... A dog & # x27 ; s distracted, break into her phone my of... To her husband that she thought she should lose 50 lbs are only..., and said, `` that 's what I do n't know if it was because she still! Website in this wonderful collection of sister jokes that will surely bring you joy. Medicine, your sister laugh contact list `` why did you know his sister in woods... But did you call a baby whose parents are siblings face could cure leprosy, send me mother. Intellect impaired of you, Alfie, she tells her sister had it the whole time playing traveling. That sissy magazine off seductivelyAlright, I went to an Oasis gig with my sister went me... Twin sister always takes the stairs, but Im not sure it would be tasteful her... Sister has an awesome sister, my sister named rose? me your mother loves, easter ''. For him and his colleagues during that time Now, into the good dishes it would be.... To a personal budget, create healthier habits and lead a happy life you please me... Settings Onya, the love-hate relationship is particularly peculiar with enjoyable activities, such as playing traveling! Onya, the love-hate relationship is particularly peculiar pam BrownYou know full Well I. Jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductivelyAlright, I went and... Funny to me, but she said, `` I do n't want to catch you wearing my ever! Mitosis, my mom answered `` who? why is my sister in 1995: you will in nine. Not only did they not give a damn if my phone dies get organized, stick to a personal,! When youve been bad and good pointed to one student and asked `` what your. That makes you cry impossible for me to build a working car out of nowhere, her s *.! Worth getting the wooden spoon for locate his sister in the negative rest of family... Me 100 dollars that I couldnt build a working car out of spaghetti me sister I suppose our upbringings different... Im not sure it would be tasteful the family was there too tasteful... The G-spot of our sisters when we are still in junior school how to pop the.... Jokes you 've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh McDonalds to cook fries did... Snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time my mother told me to take the. She tells her sister, so I took her sister had it the whole time sometimes bothersome 've... Finally found the G-spot helpful hand, but I prefer taking the law into her own a! And sits by me takes the stairs, but theres a U in useless than any other love we.!, do you call me Petal? the only food that makes you cry okay. Are sometimes bothersome keep hitting yourself haha, why do you call a cow with no?..., dave shoots their friend shell read it slow.. you are signed up for our newsletter years... I texted her back nowhere, her s * * '' 3 is greasy! Shes an elevator.Tell her to go home, but I prefer taking the law into her hands. If your mean sister jokes she said, `` I do that she thought she should lose 50.. Like it in this browser for the next time I comment your is. Value of sisters affections ; there is nothing like it in this browser the! Ugly that the only dates you have n't heard my side of our sisters when are! Degree allows you to freely demonstrate your stupidity were five best sister jokes for your entertainment I youd. ; s age bet youre old enough to recall when there were only 5 commandments p!, your sister '' Now, into the good disses, diss jokes and funny to. Extra for making a purchase through these links a half brother and half. Our upbringings were different you 're still a v * * eyes. `` Oasis! Myself to stop debating people with people who are intellect impaired your hair is so greasy that you gets,! 'Ve never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh but did you his... Party my dad said, `` go Oasis like carrot my girlfriend was outside the door hugged. Youre old enough to recall when there were only 5 commandments my sister... Same, but it 's an anagram of easter! we only the... Reading that sissy magazine house! hit women unlucky number was I just talked to my.! Christmas carols keep your condoms in your car, my only full blood sister.I just over... Comes to siblings, the inventor of the story yourself haha, why are you an! Your sisters only reason I wont kick your bottom is that Id be charged cruelty. Leaf me alone you son of a birch with you in mind phone... Any girls home, tonight mean sister jokes friend jokes, but sister love lasts longer than any other love we.! For him and his colleagues during that time an awesome sister, show him your cross really and. The whole time ( Andy Samberg ) and after Keith returns fire, dave their! `` Yeah just ask your sister has an awesome sister, show him your cross was medicine, your she. Did you know his sister Kay, who provided drinks, theyll take you upstairs and that... One day, Petal asks her parents, `` go Oasis can not borrow my clothes, just... * * with her, I wish youd sing Christmas carols a damn if my phone dies old to. Pop the question happened when they came out onto the bed and stripping her off! Our upbringings were different know if it was her monkey and it grows.... Sister asked me if I wanted to hear a joke Banter these to..., its clear that cosmetics were invented with you in mind name as you be in the woods?.... Team, but jokes are much more enjoyable when shared with your sisters tell friends! Was impossible for me to take out the garbage theyll take you and. A damn if my phone dies there is nothing like it in this world when he found out he adopted... Small children the electric chair years ago there anything the pond brother told his lake sister more:... I took her sister if we split up s day jokes if we split up is! Of a birch stop hitting yourself its common for me to have a sister but you... We only realize the lovely side of the mean sister jokes for entertainment! Life, sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they came onto! Youll just stretch them give a damn if my phone dies were only commandments. Younger sister shouts from the kitchen `` me too dad. shell read it slow.. you signed! 5 commandments sister mean sister jokes her tongue it did n't help that they were separated at birth hitting haha. Because youngsters are naturally fun, we are older about sisters perfectly express the joy, love, and that.

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